Paw Humbug! By Pepper

I want to go on record that I hate the holiday season.  Why?

Take a look!

Every year, my mom gets the bright idea that sending the relatvies and friends pictures of me dressed for Christmas is "cute".  I hate it.  The SPCA is going to get a call from me about this continued exploitation of my image.  Even Mr. Wendell looks like he hates it. 

The whole process is a nightmare.  First she dresses us up.  This in itself is crazy.  Think about it.  A late 30's woman dressing furry dogs up. She usually talks to us while she does it...telling Mr. Wendell "Yoooooouuuuu look soooooooo handsome young man!" or baby talking to me "Ms Pepper, you are so prettttty in this dress".  What is she?  A 8 year old girl dressing up a Barbie for a tea party?  Grow up lady!

Then she spends what seems like an hour prepping the area where she wants to take the picture.  Hey!  Get a clue, dress me afterward if you must.  You wear a fur coat as an undershirt to a heavy red cotton jacket.  It is hot!

Then, in a nightmare of flashes, she takes dozens of pictures hoping to get the exact right one.  She would not sit still for as long as she wants us to sit still, yet she expects us to sit there waiting on her.  This year, my idiot dad saved Mr. Wendell and I from hours of torture by whipping out some beef jerky and bribing us to look at him.  If he had just pulled out the jerky I would have thought him brilliant.  However, he must of asked Mr. Wendell and I 200 times in that stupid sing song "Does Pepper want a treat?  DOES Missssster Wendellllll want a BIIIIG treat?  What a jamoke. 

Oh yea, I forgot this gem...

The building owners where I live decided to get festive and put a Christmas Tree in the lobby.  However, they really went all out.  They must have ordered it straight from http://www.artificialcrappytrees.com/.  It is the artificial version of the Charlie Brown Christmas tree...3 feet tall, fake plastic foliage that is as thin as my dad's hair and a cheesey string of lights they must have stolen from a homeless guy.  It is really, really bad.

If I sound bitter and angry about the holidays, it is because I am.  Mr. Wendell is so angry he said he has been lifting his leg on the tree my mom put up in our living room. 

PAW HUMBUG!!!!!!