Sunday, March 28, 2010

The Kind Diet...not a dog's best friend! Pepper and Wendell

Two weeks ago, my mom and our dim bulb dad saw some lady named Alicia Silverstone on Oprah talking about the Kind Diet The Kind Diet: A Simple Guide to Feeling Great, Losing Weight, and Saving the PlanetShe was talking about how a diet that had no sugar, no caffiene, no gluten, no dairy and no meat made her feel good, her coat shiny and all of that.  We pretty much laid around like normal...





Until we heard my mom say "Lets try it!  We can do it!".  Our ears perked up...hoping my dad would say no, this sounds like a bad idea.  However, my dad agreed immediately...probably because he knows life just goes easier when he agrees with her 100%.  So for the last two weeks, these two faux west coasters have been eating veggies, beans, tofu, nuts and all other sorts of crap.  What is next?   Birkenstocks? 

About now, you might be asking..."Why do you dogs even care?"

Here is the deal...they are not eating meat.  So... you ask?  Do I have to spell it out for you?  No meat for them, means no table scraps worth eating for us.  We could always rely on some steak, some chicken, some sausage or some turkey dangled off the edge of the table.  Tofutti does not graze in an open meadow.  You cannot barbeque a Soy!

We hoped they would crack and for a days  it looked like they would.  But now, they say they feel great and have more energy.  They may never go back.

Dinner time now sucks!

This must end.  Scientists must some how discredit the Kind diet...before dogs all over the US are subjected to this meatless torture nightmare.  Burn the book!!!

Pepper and Wendell.

p.s.  We are sad to say good bye to our dear friend and cousin King Cyrus.  (Who, we know would agree that dogs deserve meat from the dining room table.)  Cyrus, passed this week after 17 years of tail wagging and long walks.  We know his mom and dad miss him and we do to. 

Sunday, March 21, 2010

I hate pigeons!!! By Mr. Wendell

I hate pigeons.  What good are they?  They are dirty.  The poop all over the place.  They strut around like they own the city.  I want to get ahold of one or eight of them and rip them to shreds.   Grrrrr!


Every day some guy in a beat up red pickup truck drives by our house and tosses a milk carton full of bird seed onto the corner sidewalk.  It attracts little winged rodents like mosquitos to a bug light.  Dozens of these disease infested beasts then congregate until all of the seed is eaten...leaving behind them a 12 x 12 foot section of bird poop covered sidewalk. 

I loathe this man in the red pick up truck.  May his transmission fall out on Van Ness Blvd.. and may the pigeons land on him and pick him to the bone.  They probably would too...birds cannot be trusted.


My cool dad lets me chase them to the end of my leash.  Most of the time, I get so enraged that I forget that I have a leash on. The centrifugal force of me running then hitting the end of the leash as I leap into the air to catch the flying birds causes me to swing up 3-4 feet in the air...all the while barking my little furry butt off! 

If my mom is with us when this happens, she usually yells at my dad while trying to keep a laugh in.  She hates pigeons as much as I do, but acts like she is annoyed when my dad lets me have some fun. 

I am not sure of the purpose of pigeons...all I know is that I want them out of my neighborhood.

Mr. Wendell

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Thank you Aunt Nola! Pepper and Wendell....

So my mom and dad went to New York City for a few days.  And all we got was this lousy picture of my mom in Times Square in the rain...


No new bones, no snazzy toys...not even one of those stinkin I "heart" New York T-shirts...







I think Mr.Wendell and I had a better weekend than my mom and dad.  It all started on Wednesday when my mom left that house and came back with someone we had not seen in a long time!  Our Aunt Nola!  What a surprise!  Mr. Wendell barked because he is just an idiot...but I was happy to see her!

She is more fun that my mom and dad.  She plays with us.  Lets us have beef jerky for breakfast and takes us for longer walks than my lazy mom and dad take us on. 

Mr. Wendell wanted to short sheet her bed, put a tootsie roll on the floor (to make her think we had an accident) or put cellaphane on the toilet lid for a laugh, but I talked him out of it.  We want her to come back as she is a lot of fun!  We even felt comfortable enough to curl up and sleep with her last night...we have never done that before.

We were sorry to see her go today. 

Thanks Aunt Nola!


Sunday, March 7, 2010

Dogs should be tax deductable....just like kids!

Today, my lovely wife and I made our bi-weekly sojourn to Target.  Our contribution to the gods of retail happens every two weeks like clock work.  As we live downtown where everything is more expensive and usually smaller sized, we try to save up our purchasing needs and head out to the burbs. 

Today, as I unpacked the bags I noticed that our bi-weekly purchases are more and more for the furry kids.

Pee Pads                            Dog Food
Baby Wipes                       Bully Sticks
Dog Treats                         Denta Sticks
Beef Jerky                          Dog Shampoo
Poop Bags

This got me thinking about everything else we do for these "best friends"...

Doggy Nanny Care (Aunt Nola visits)
Vet Bills
Dog Clothes (Sigh...a dog jacket costing $60 each....yes)
Doggy Vitamins
Dog Harnesses
Doggy blankets
Doggy dentistry (teeth cleaning)
Doggy workouts


Some kids should have it as good as my dogs...
I came to the conclusion that these little tail wagging furballs are pretty darn expensive. 

Why aren't they tax deductable??