I hate pigeons!!! By Mr. Wendell

I hate pigeons.  What good are they?  They are dirty.  The poop all over the place.  They strut around like they own the city.  I want to get ahold of one or eight of them and rip them to shreds.   Grrrrr!

Every day some guy in a beat up red pickup truck drives by our house and tosses a milk carton full of bird seed onto the corner sidewalk.  It attracts little winged rodents like mosquitos to a bug light.  Dozens of these disease infested beasts then congregate until all of the seed is eaten...leaving behind them a 12 x 12 foot section of bird poop covered sidewalk. 

I loathe this man in the red pick up truck.  May his transmission fall out on Van Ness Blvd.. and may the pigeons land on him and pick him to the bone.  They probably would too...birds cannot be trusted.

My cool dad lets me chase them to the end of my leash.  Most of the time, I get so enraged that I forget that I have a leash on. The centrifugal force of me running then hitting the end of the leash as I leap into the air to catch the flying birds causes me to swing up 3-4 feet in the air...all the while barking my little furry butt off! 

If my mom is with us when this happens, she usually yells at my dad while trying to keep a laugh in.  She hates pigeons as much as I do, but acts like she is annoyed when my dad lets me have some fun. 

I am not sure of the purpose of pigeons...all I know is that I want them out of my neighborhood.

Mr. Wendell