A PG Rated Post...Ed

Pepper and Wendell are currently sleeping like zombies.

The reason the wallet-emptying little fur balls are sleeping like zombies is that we got them out for a long walk along the Bay this morning. It was 75 degrees here today and to not get them out would have been a crime.

We must have encountered 400 dogs today on our walk. No kidding. There were dogs of all sizes, ages, colors and temperments out on the trail today. We usually let Pep and Wendell be approached by other dogs and approach other dogs as well, as long as everyone seems to be behaved.

I never cease to be disgusted and amused with how dogs greet each other. Okay, I have enough 13 year old boy left in me to be a little gross...so, to be clear, this is a little immature!

Dogs huff butts when they greet other!

No matter what, the doggie greeting always degrades to one of the dogs taking a deep sniff of the others posterior region. Sometimes, you may even get the dual doggie huff as the dogs position themselves front to back.

What do they learn? What could possibly be that important about what one ate the day before? MMMMMM....Pepper, it smells like you had some beef jerky yesterday. Ahhh...Freta, smells like they tried to give you Chef Michael's Filet but you opted to eat table scraps. Is that meatloaf I smell? How are you?

Yuck! It is funny to watch the humans attached to the dogs pretend not to notice. Me? I think it is gross and try to use it as a teaching experience.

"Mr. Wendell! Gentlemen shake hands...not sniff butts! How many times do we have to talk about this?" He looks at me like I am from Mars. He is still not getting it.

I want to go on record that I am so fricking happy that humans don't greet each other that way. Can you imagine?

Picture two guys in business suits over a board room table...nose to tail. "Good to meet you Joe." Sniff. Sniff. Sniff. "Good to see you again Bob" Sniff. Sniff. Sniff. "Great job on the McDermott deal, Sally" Sniff. Sniff. Sniff. Yikes!!!!

How disgusting! But maybe no more disgusting than shaking hands...because we ALL know that everyone has clean hands!!!!




E

My Brother, the dog model...By Pepper

My brother has been bragging about his modeling career lately.  My brother?  A model?  Yeah right, and my dad is a brain surgeon.  My brother has a better chance of landing on a "Ten Most Unwanted List" than he does landing on the cover of Chihuahua Quarterly or Vanity Fair for Canines. 

What got my brother's head thinking he was a runway dog?  Apparently, there was some stupid spam email contest that my mom found about a month or two ago.  Click here to vote for Mr. Wendell .  The general idea is that you submit a photo of your pet to this site.  Then, other schmuckos with no life vote on the cutest pet (oh yeah, you can vote for you own pet as fast as you can hit enter on your computer).   If your uglier than me furry kid gets voted into the Top 1,500 they end up in a book.  (Of course, there were more instructions on how to buy the book than instructions on how to vote...)

So, my mom submitted this photo:

It is a dapper picture of the lad.  I get that.  However, I doubt he will get a 4 page spread in PawBoy. 

Now his head is bigger than normal, even for a Chihuahua.  He wants his nails done.  He sniffs disapprovingly of his camo dog jacket.  He has started eating tissues and ice cubes so that he can control his weight.  He is even practicing walking around with one paw crossing the next so that he can walk like the rest of the models.  Give me a break. 

Your hair is thin.  Your eye balls are big.  You have spots instead of a lustrous shiny coat like me.  I should be on the web site...not you!

I may pee on the carpet and try to make it look like you did it.  Ugly boy!

Ms. Pepper...the real model