New Years Resolutions from Mr. Wendell and Pepper

Happy New Year!  It is your pal Mr. Wendell here with my and Pepper's list of New Year's Resolutions.  Since Pepper refuses to have anything to do with self improvement, I will be designing New Year's resolutions for her. 

Before I dive into New Year's resolutions, let me tell you about our Christmas.  I must say, it was a real tail wagger.  First, my grandma and grandpa came in from South Carolina.  I really like when they come in.  It is an extra lap or two to lay on, more food scraps at the table and my grandma has a secret stash of dog bisquits that she slips me and my sister at bed time.  It does not get much better than that. 

Anyways, they were here about a week visiting.  I guess they went to some ballet "The Nutcracker" on Christmas Eve.  My dad pretended it was a good time, but I could tell he was bored.  I guess some 8 foot tall guy sat in front of him and besides the guys ears, my dad did not get to see much.  On Saturday, we went to visit King Syrus and Ms. Tracy down in Carmel.  It was a good time. 

So anyways, here are my resolutions for next year.  I am only going to do four, because any more than that and I will not be able to remember them.   Here we go.

Resolution Number One:  I will not lick myself in naughty places in front of company.  It seems natural to me to want to take care of my hygeine, but I understand that sometimes I may be grossing people out.

Resolution Number Two:  I will stop sniffing other dogs rear ends when there are humans around.  My dad always says he is glad humans don't have the same practice. 

Resolution Number Three:  I will try to stay awake longer than an hour a day. 

Resolution Number Four:  I will stop kissing my dad's face after licking myself in naughty places. 

I should be able to do all of these...at least for a few hours.

Here is a nice picture of my sister in New Year's Eve attire and the resolutions I designed for her.

Pepper's Resolutions for 2010

#1:  I will no longer do the butt walk on my dad's pillow when I get mad at him.  I will use his blanket instead.

#2  I will stop stealing all of Mr. Wendell's bones and hiding them in places that he cannot find them.

#3  I will stop using the carpet under the dining room table as a pee pad because I am too lazy sometimes to walk to where my mom usually puts them and blaming Mr. Wendell for doing it.

#4 When my dad says lets go outside, I will stop running under the bed and hiding from him. 

#5)  I promise to be nicer, less judgmental and patient with Mr. Wendell.


For the New Year's Eve celebration, my mom and dad will undoubtedly be sitting on the coach drinking wine and watching movies...just like all the other residents at the old folks rest home.  Gee whiz guys, go do something!

Happy New Year!

Paw Humbug! By Pepper

I want to go on record that I hate the holiday season.  Why?

Take a look!

Every year, my mom gets the bright idea that sending the relatvies and friends pictures of me dressed for Christmas is "cute".  I hate it.  The SPCA is going to get a call from me about this continued exploitation of my image.  Even Mr. Wendell looks like he hates it. 

The whole process is a nightmare.  First she dresses us up.  This in itself is crazy.  Think about it.  A late 30's woman dressing furry dogs up. She usually talks to us while she does it...telling Mr. Wendell "Yoooooouuuuu look soooooooo handsome young man!" or baby talking to me "Ms Pepper, you are so prettttty in this dress".  What is she?  A 8 year old girl dressing up a Barbie for a tea party?  Grow up lady!

Then she spends what seems like an hour prepping the area where she wants to take the picture.  Hey!  Get a clue, dress me afterward if you must.  You wear a fur coat as an undershirt to a heavy red cotton jacket.  It is hot!

Then, in a nightmare of flashes, she takes dozens of pictures hoping to get the exact right one.  She would not sit still for as long as she wants us to sit still, yet she expects us to sit there waiting on her.  This year, my idiot dad saved Mr. Wendell and I from hours of torture by whipping out some beef jerky and bribing us to look at him.  If he had just pulled out the jerky I would have thought him brilliant.  However, he must of asked Mr. Wendell and I 200 times in that stupid sing song "Does Pepper want a treat?  DOES Missssster Wendellllll want a BIIIIG treat?  What a jamoke. 

Oh yea, I forgot this gem...

The building owners where I live decided to get festive and put a Christmas Tree in the lobby.  However, they really went all out.  They must have ordered it straight from http://www.artificialcrappytrees.com/.  It is the artificial version of the Charlie Brown Christmas tree...3 feet tall, fake plastic foliage that is as thin as my dad's hair and a cheesey string of lights they must have stolen from a homeless guy.  It is really, really bad.

If I sound bitter and angry about the holidays, it is because I am.  Mr. Wendell is so angry he said he has been lifting his leg on the tree my mom put up in our living room. 

PAW HUMBUG!!!!!!