Evil comes in a can...by a very distressed Pepper

Nothing good to eat ever comes in a can. 

Exhibit A:

Need more evidence?

Get my drift?  Canned food typically sucks.  So, you can clearly understand my dismay and, yes horror when my mom decided to take off her Head Dog Chef apron today and serve us food from a can. 

I did not recognize the noise when I heard it.  Sort of a metal on metal sound, a hollow grinding noise, a couple of clunks and then a snap.  Then, there was a sucking, vacuum-ish plunk as she tipped the can upside down and plopped some gellatin-like slop into our metal bowls. 

"Kiddies........" 

"Ohhhhhhhhhh  Kiddies, it is dinner time...come and get it!!!!" my mom sang out.  You would have thought she was the head chef at a Michelin Five Star restuarant saying "Bon Appetit" as she served us various unidentified beef and chicken parts.

My brother and I ran out with all of the hopes for a nice Sunday dinner our little brains could envision.  My sycophantic brother wagged and went to town on his bowl.  Me?  I looked at the bowl as if my mom had decided to serve cow butts on a stick...which was probably the main ingredient in this meal. 

There is no way I am going to eat this slop.  I don't care if it is fortified with essential vitamins and minerals to keep me strong.  Give me some fresh, free range chicken or grass fed beef...this stuff is not suitable for consumption.

Day One of my hunger strike starts today.

Quit Barking at Me...by Pepper

Can someone please explain to me why you humans feel compelled to bark at me when I go for a walk?

Narry a week goes by that I don't hear "Ruff" or "Woof" or "GRRRRRRRRR" from the lips of some two legged idiot.  I must point out that it is never a woman that does this.  It is always the boys.   Young men, foreign men, poorly dressed men, business men and even old men...it does not matter.   They all seem compelled to bark at me.  Do they really think it is funny?

Most of the time, it is while my dad takes us for a walk and we are stopped to cross the street.  However, it does sometimes happen while we are in motion.  "Woof"   "Grrrrrrrr"   it never ends. 

You don't hear dogs yell "Hello" or "How are you" or other common noises humans make.  What if I walked around and said stuff like "Grande Latte"  "SuperSize the fries" or "Get me a beer".  Nope.  It never has happened.  

What always makes me angry is that after some drooling, mouth breathing numbskull barks at me and I decide to open up some Chihuahua whoop ass on him, they always look surprised and give "The Look" to my dad.  The Look?  You know...a look like "You need to controll your dog."  or  "I am calling Animal Control to report a viscious lap dog".  One time my dad looked at the guy and said, you started it idiot...that stopped his growling.

So, if you are reading this and you have ever barked at a dog...this one is for you. 

Shut up!

Quit Barking At ME!!!!

Pepper