The Grand Canyon…blah, blah, blah. I want to go home. By Ms. Pepper

I am putting my paw down. It is time to go home. I hate everything about this trip. From the smelly RV to the inane road conversations. From the dry chicken my supposed “Wizard on the Grill” dad cooks for us to the constant worry of snakes and scorpions. I have had it. Period. I want to go home. This sucks.

It is not just the trip. My kiss butt brother and his stupid smile and wagging tail is getting on my nerves. No matter what my over caffeinated parents say or do, he is there in sycophantic agreement. Yeah, let’s go to the Grand Canyon. Wag-wag-wag-wag! Yeah, let’s go see Mount Rushmore. That’s cool. Wag-wag-wag-wag! Sure I would love to walk through the Garden of the Gods (big pink rocks…who cares?). May Mr. Wendell pee on an electric fence…wag your tail then you adopted mutt. That’s what I say about that.

I want to go home. I hate this. Oh yeah, I am supposed to post some pictures of the Grand Canyon. Another big rock. I will get to it when I am good and ready. What are they going to do? Feed me unkosher hot dogs next?

At least we are now headed to Vegas. Hermes, Dolce and Cabana, The Bellagio, off Broadway shows…maybe I can get my four paws manied and pedied there…do a little doggy spa time. Shadows of my previous life…the life that I deserve to live. From the nice house in the burbs, to the rental townhome to this tin can with wheels attached, I am afraid to think about what is next. Will it be riding the rails as a hobo family? This was not what the travel brochure looked like.

Oh yeah…here are the stinking Canyon pictures…




Oh yeah. I almost forgot. HEY YOU! French Lady. Yeah, you know who you are. For your information, I was sitting perfectly comfortable in my AT3 Dog Stroller zipped up and quiet. Then you and your “Oui’ Oui’ “bull-crap come sticking your face up to my window screen. Of course I am going to bark and jump. Oui’ Oui’ that! You unbathed foreign voyeur. And then you act SOOOOO surprised. If some ugly moron stuck their face up to your window at home and blew foul smelling cigarette breath at you, you would bark too. Go away. Leave me alone. Do I look like a &*((@! petting zoo???

Only 9 more days to go…or less if I can figure out a way to get them to go home early. Can dogs become alcoholics?

Pepper